My Adventures on Online Dating – Baptist News Global

Her online handle It was a “blond biohazard”.

Her perfect match: “I’m just looking for someone who has a pulse and can see life in a humorous way, not Jack the Ripper. I like music, rub two brain cells together and live in Timbuktu. Must not be. Other than that, everything is negotiable. “

Her ideal date: “Something casual-with a trap door to extract as needed.”

This is my favorite dating profile so far, and since returning to the game I’ve been browsing millions of dating sites while browsing various online dating sites.

Erich Bridge

I didn’t ask the date for “Blonde Resident Evil”. She lives too far away. Long-distance relationships usually don’t work. This is what I learned while driving on the Mid-Atlantic coast. But I praised her for her wisdom and originality. She seems to have gained some wisdom by struggling to find a man who isn’t completely stupid or worse.

Horror story

I’ve heard a lot of horror stories about other men from women I met online. A man who posts eerie profile pictures in various situations, such as undressing, wearing camouflage uniforms, and carrying powerful weapons.A man who begins to seek sex Before First date. Someone who apparently considers bathing as an option.

Apart from moral and hygienic considerations, what stupidity is needed to think that this approach attracts women?

By the way, I’m not on Tinder or any other “hookup” site. I’m talking about a vanilla dating portal for people looking for friendship, LTR (long-term relationships) or marriage. Some of them are aimed at people over the age of 50. But even if you’re a Christian looking for another Christian, it’s a pretty wild scene out there.

Why am I having a mid-loof 60s date that I haven’t been to since the first Reagan administration? Short Version: God has blessed me with a wonderful 33-year marriage to the sweetest woman in the world. We were looking forward to a new stage of life in which the children grew up and were alone. However, my wife died of cancer in early 2017. Since then, I’ve been wandering more or less in the wilderness.

“Even if you’re a Christian looking for another Christian, it’s a pretty wild scene out there.”

I overcame the sadness of the first two years and everything that came with it. Then I was tired of being alone most of the time. Sadness does not go away completely, and should not, it returns like a wave without warning. But you will learn how to deal with it.

Solitude is another.

As Frank, one of my widowers, told me, “I know how to live alone, but I don’t like it.” And armen. I decided to try dating — for dating, if nothing else.

How it is done

Frank and my other widow mentor advised me to check out some online dating sites. “That’s the way it is these days,” they said. I think they are right. Despite the exponential increase in the number of adult singles of all ages, it seems that there are no more church-based single groups. Maybe the online connection killed a direct single group. Hit me

I’ve been on dating sites for over two years looking for love, or at least something better than a hermit status. Many online profiles sound almost the same, such as “I love long walks on the beach” and “I love kayaking” (when did kayaking come up? I’m more than drowning upside down in the river. I like dinner and movies).

“I’ve been on dating sites for over two years looking for love, or at least something better than hermit status.”

Many women argue that I want “no drama” in the relationships I take to mean anger problems, emotional problems, psychosis, addiction, etc. me neither.

Some people don’t want “luggage” to be taken out of past relationships. I’m sorry, honey, but at the stage of my life, almost everyone has luggage, including loss, divorce, abuse, and dishonesty. If you can’t deal with it, don’t date.

Search conditions

Everyone has their own “search criteria” when viewing and connecting to profiles. The four things I’m looking for are visual / physical attraction (I’m still a man), rational intelligence, spiritual commitment, and its mysterious thing called “sparks”.

No one, male or female, is looking at a date profile without a photo, so the visual appeal is a clear first stop. The usual questions about photography are: Are the photos recent? Do they honestly show what the person looks like? If he or she gains or shrinks by 200 pounds since the photo was taken, they must not falsely tell themselves. I’m sorry if it’s lookism, but it is.

With respect to intelligence, can they hold themselves in conversations that include one or more subjects? Do they care what’s happening beyond their little world? When it comes to spirituality, checking “spiritual” or “Christian” in a date profile can mean anything from practicing squeeze mindfulness to becoming a hard-line fundamentalist. Sensitive and polite conversations are needed in this area.

“In terms of intelligence, can they hold themselves in conversations involving one or more subjects?”

“Sparks” cannot be clearly defined. It’s that special connection that brightens your eyes and makes your toes aching. It’s either there or not. And it’s essential as far as I am. I’m not dead yet.

Long-term relationship?

I lost a number of women I met for coffee. This is the usual choice for the first encounter. Many of these first meetings are on the first, second, and even third dates. After the third day, something may be happening. It rarely happens, at least for me. Usually there is no real spark. Alternatively, the spark will fly in one direction but not in the other.

If the connection goes past date number 3, I’m curious — and if she still says “yes” she too. It’s time to be tricky. Is this a potential LTR? If so, does that mean a final marriage? I haven’t reached that serious stage yet.

I was ready to commit to a particular woman last year, but she decided she wasn’t ready and censored it. That hurts. Still do. Sometimes you pay for the damage done by another man in a past relationship.

I’ve met some really nice women and some really weird women so far, and almost all types in between. I have experience and have been doing CAD. I became a “ghost” — when someone who thought you were interested suddenly cut off all communication. I ended the relationship with a text message and ended the relationship with me as well.

Dating is no joke, especially in times of COVID, social isolation and fragmentation with my friends. But I’m still looking for a woman that God has for me.

As my friend Frank says, I learned how to live alone. But I don’t like it.

Erich BridgeA Baptist journalist for over 40 years, he retired in 2016 as a Global Correspondent to the International Mission Committee of the Southern Baptist Convention. He lives in Richmond, Virginia.

Related article:

Regaining the Widow’s Joy: Conversation with Writer Ella Pritchard

What the widow wonders at night | Opinion by Erich Bridges

My Adventures on Online Dating – Baptist News Global

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